My Birthday

Yesterday (8/14) was my birthday. And yes, I am a Leo to the core. Anyone who has ever worked with me can attest to the fact. The reason I didn’t post on my actual birthday (something like – It’s my birthday and in celebration I’d love to reach 50 followers on my blog. Will you help?), is because I was a bit woebegone. (Not very Leo like, and not a word I typically associate with myself…or use for that matter.) Maybe it was because my husband and son are away for the weekend at a soccer tournament, my youngest daughter is at sleep away camp, and my oldest daughter had to work, leaving me with much too much alone time.

To me age has always been a number, not very important. 45 didn’t bother me, but for some reason 46 isn’t sitting well. And I fear the completion of every year closer to 50 will be the same.

“You’re as old as you feel.” Recently, I’ve started to feel old. To combat eye strain I am now wearing glasses (which really work, by the way!) My size six figure has expanded into double digits and now requires underwire and torturous ‘shapeware’ to be presentable at parties. My gray hair patrol is taking more time out of each day as I search out the kinky attackers, and I fear if I don’t soon submit to the invasion, I will celebrate my 50th with a bald head! Some days my body feels like its been taken over by hormonal hijackers who are not willing to negotiate for a return to normalcy.

46 Dollars in my pocket – Great!
46 Peanut M&M’s/Oreos – Par–Tee!
46 Years on this earth – Not so exciting. (Yes, I know, it beats the alternative.)

Is my life half over or has it only just begun? Whatever the answer, I still have goals for myself, things I’d like to achieve…publication being one. And as my children age and don’t need me around as much, I can spend more time rekindling my relationships with others and doing volunteer work. However much time I have left, I plan to make the most of it.

How do you feel about aging? Grow old gracefully or hair dye and Botox? Let it all hang out or stuff it into Spanx? Wear your glasses or suffer with eyestrain?

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  • John Baron
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 3:31 PM | Permalink

    Happy birthday, Wendy.

    Sometimes getting old is hard, I know. I try to own-up to the truth. I don't say I'm "balding" — it's over already. I'm bald, and I cut my hair short-short-short (sometimes shaving it): it's not shameful to be bald (or gray). I have to laugh when I see men getting their eyebrows plucked, wearing hair-pieces, coloring what hair they have, dressing like teenagers, etc. It's not a sin to grow old, and it can be done "gracefully". That grace comes from your own attitude.

  • Regina Richards
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 5:12 PM | Permalink

    Happy Late Birthday, Wendy! You're battles with gray hairs and restrictive underwear have me laughing. I am too familiar with those battles myself. Hope you're winning more of them than I am.

  • Regina Richards
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 5:14 PM | Permalink

    I meant "Your battles with…". -sheepish shoulder hunch

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 5:24 PM | Permalink

    Hi John, my lone male follower…or at least the only one courageous enough to comment! I thought about you when I wrote this post, convinced you'd think 'too much information' and hit escape. I figured for sure you'd have something to add to my prior post about techno stuff! Thanks for the reminder..grace comes from my own attitude. Important stuff!

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 5:28 PM | Permalink

    Hi Regina!
    Your and you're and there, their, and they're constantly cause me problems! No sheepish shoulder hunch required! It's nice to know I'm not the only one fighting with shapeware. They go on okay, but after a hearty meal and a little dancing, getting them back up can be a chore. To all you youngsters out there, that's why you sometimes here grunting sounds coming from the next stall.

  • John Baron
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 6:12 PM | Permalink

    About your GPS-in-the-photos post, I thought about commenting, realized that I wasn't ABSOLUTELY SURE that none of my own photos had location data in them, went to check (found out I was okay), and forgot to comment. Maybe I'm getting old.

  • Angela Ackerman
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 6:18 PM | Permalink

    Happy belated Birthday! 🙂 And can I say you don't look 46?

    I believe we all tend to put too much pressure on ourselves and have an inflated sense of what we should achieve by X. Think instead about living each day without regret–that way when 50 comes around, you'll be satisfied with where you are, what you've done and how much you've accomplished. 🙂

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 7:51 PM | Permalink

    Hi John!
    Apparently I'm not the only one getting older. I'd say misery loves company, but that wouldn't convey a positive attitude toward aging!

    Hi Angela!
    I can tell you from my recent attendance at RWA national, a lot of authors do not look like their pictures! My blog picture was taken a few years ago. I have some updated pictures in my Back from RWA post. Take a look! And to all you visitors, Angela has some amazing pictures from her recent trip to Africa posted on her blog. I highly recommend a visit.

  • susanwilson44
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 8:24 PM | Permalink

    Wendy I'm the grand old age of 37 and have been dying the grey hairs since I was 17. Back then – in the good ole days – I only had to do it every few months, now it's every 3 weeks or I end up looking like a wicked witch and age about 20 years – its funny how grey hair does that to a girl.
    As for shape underwear I AM THE QUEEN! My children laugh hysterically at the size of mothers "—–"! My motto – don't leave home without them!

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 10:08 PM | Permalink

    Hi Susan!
    My children are older and have learned not to tease me about any part of my anatomy. (Or risk my rath!)

  • Taryn Kincaid
    Posted August 15, 2010 at 10:57 PM | Permalink

    Happy birthday!

  • Amy
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 1:53 AM | Permalink

    Happy Belated Birthday, Wendy! Honestly, I never really worried too much about the number either. It's the aches and pains (and eye strain) I could do without! And I've seen you live and IN PERSON quite recently, so believe me when I tell you . . . you look maaavalous!(just imagine Billy Crystal is saying it in that lovely way of his)


  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 2:41 AM | Permalink

    Thanks Taryn!

    Thanks Amy!
    Enjoy your vacation! Four full days in the car with your family. It takes togetherness to a whole new level!

  • jenniferprobst
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 2:45 AM | Permalink

    Ah, I am reaching the big 40 and can only look back to my big 30 when I was thin and ate everything I wanted and NEVER worked out, had no grey hairs, and was still pretty fabulous. Unfortunately, I was also very lonely and depressed and battling with a lot of unhappiness and bad relationships. So, now I am plucking out grey hair left and right, and need to go to the gym to just eat a bowl of ice cream and not put on weight. Spanx is needed to go out in any formal wear. Bikinis do not exist for me anymore. And my long stretches of time for myself are gone forever. BUT, I am pretty damn happy with the payoff. I have something I love to do and pursue, I have a great family, fabulous friends, so I have decided to take the bad and celebrate the good. And we always have wine, thank God…

  • Christine
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 2:47 AM | Permalink

    Happy Birthday! I am closer to that "round number bday than you!" and I am not sure how I feel about it, but it beats the alternative!

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 10:22 AM | Permalink

    You're still pretty fabulous, Jen! And now you have some great stories to tell!!!

    Thanks Christine! And yes, it does beat the alternative!

  • Jen FitzGerald
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 12:41 PM | Permalink

    Happy birthday, Wendy. I am closer to 40 still, than 50, but can sympathize with the aches and pains…arthritis is a bugger.

    I plow through my hair every couple of weeks looking for those grays, but chances are that at some point I won't be able to pluck enough to disguise the fact that I actually do have them. I rarely color my hair and don't intend to start. 🙂

  • JL Walters
    Posted August 16, 2010 at 8:15 PM | Permalink

    Wendy, Happy birthday even if it's related. Do not worry about the years that are passing. When you reach my youthful years, then you can worry. I always tell people that I'm only one day older than I was yesterday.

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 1:25 PM | Permalink

    Thanks, Janet!

  • abbi
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 4:40 PM | Permalink

    OMG Wendy. Happy Belated Birthday!

    You shouldn't feel old, you looked great when I saw you at Nationals.

    And, I just learned what Spanx are. If I'd known then, I would've worn them to Nationals.

    Sometimes I don't feel 42, but when I'm chasing around my two young boys, I REALLY feel it.

    Hope you had a wonderful birthday.


  • Shelley Sly
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 6:32 PM | Permalink

    Happy Belated Birthday!!

    I don't think 46 is old. I do believe that you're as old as you feel AND that you can change the way you feel. You still seem young to me, what I can tell of your blog. (And I'm not just saying that. I initially thought from your writing voice that you were late 20s.) Hope you had a good one!

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 6:56 PM | Permalink

    Thanks Abbi! I always say," It's great that women can have children into their fifties. But what fifty-year-old wants to run after a two-year-old?"

    Thanks Shelley! Maybe my voice sounds like I'm in my twenties because that's my mental age? It's possible! (And a great compliment!)

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 7:04 PM | Permalink

    Hi Jen F.
    Sorry. I thought I responded to your comment but now I see I skipped right over you! I'm up in the air about coloring my hair. Once you start you have to keep in doing it. Not so into that!

  • charmainegordon author
    Posted August 18, 2010 at 7:02 PM | Permalink

    Forty Six! I have underwear older than you. I don't wear it but…
    You have an exciting future ahead. Enjoy every minute.


  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM | Permalink

    Wow Charmaine! Those are some sturdy panties!!! Thanks for the smile!

  • Nancy B
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 3:52 AM | Permalink

    Oh, crap! I forgot your birthday! That is so unlike me. I usually remember everyone's birthday. Must be that old age creeping in!Well, anyway, Happy Belated 46th Birthday! Now you're just as old as me – WE'RE TWINS! Well, not exactly twins, but you know what I mean. Sorry!


  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 2:22 PM | Permalink

    Hi Nancy!
    No problem! I had a great time at dinner, a bit early, but a celebration none the less.

  • Dale
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 6:35 PM | Permalink

    Hi Birthday Girl!!

    While 46 may have taken you down a road you may have preferred not to travel, you are here, and just look around at your beautiful family and the pursual of your change in career. Lots of changes going on in your life. No doubt, we are all going to feel melancholy about our age now and then, but regarding the physical manifestations, you still have it going on girl….you can shake your booty like nobody's business on the dance floor and haven't lost your sense of humour. I for one think you look great!!!!! and love you no matter what!!!

  • Wendy Marcus
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 8:52 PM | Permalink

    Thank you Dale! AKA Svester D!
    But now when I bust a move on the dance floor, it takes me a few days to recover! And I love you, too!!!

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