Onions and Christmas Trees

In case you haven’t seen this, I’d like to share a bit of holiday humor that’s been making the e-mail rounds. I don’t take credit for writing it, just enjoying it:


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’
The father, surprised, answers,
‘Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30’s to 40’s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions’.
‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
‘Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
‘Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30’s and 40’s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50’s, it is like a Christmas Tree.’
‘A Christmas tree?’
‘Yes – the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.’

Thank you to everyone who has purchased my books and supported me throughout this whirlwind of a year.

May you be blessed with a mighty and hard oak this holiday season and for years to come…  (Or whatever else puts a smile on your face!)

Happy Healthy Holidays! And best wishes for a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year!


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  • Posted December 14, 2011 at 10:47 AM | Permalink

    LOL! Gotta share that one with my hubby. Better make sure he’s in a good mood first.

  • Wendy S. Marcus
    Posted December 14, 2011 at 12:05 PM | Permalink

    I got a kick out of it, too, Regina…but didn’t share it with my husband!!!

    Happy Holidays!

  • Posted December 15, 2011 at 3:49 AM | Permalink


    Merry Christmas!

  • Posted December 15, 2011 at 4:31 AM | Permalink

    Happy Holidays, to you, too, Nas!

  • Posted December 15, 2011 at 8:54 AM | Permalink

    I laughed so hard at this – it was the best part of my day! Thanks for sharing!!

  • Posted December 15, 2011 at 10:27 AM | Permalink

    Glad you liked it, Jen!
    Happy Holidays!

  • Posted December 18, 2011 at 3:50 PM | Permalink

    Enjoyable humor. Have great holidays.

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